Is your roommate gay?
The following is an actual phone conversation that took place in the early 90s:My landlord Mike: Keith, is your roommate gay?Me: Yeah, Mike. Mike: Why do you wanna live with a gay guy? Me: I like the...
View ArticleFighting With The Parking Tyrant at The State Fair
Parking lot guy at Cal Expo: Sorry, cash only.Me: Oh, um, I don't think I have cash.Guy: You can go out the first exit and find an ATM. Come back, have fun.Me: Oh, just a minute, I have quarters.Guy:...
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My First Viking Funeral
My daughter keeps day pets. Anything she can catch we let her keep for a day and then she lets them go again. She felt terrible when her centipede didn't make it to the release party and asked if she...
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Johnny Taylor "Tangled Up In Plaid"
I have a huge bias here, as Johnny Taylor is one of my best friends, but we sought each other out to work together and then became friends because we liked each other's comedy, and Johnny's first album...
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You Can Pre-Order Atheist Christmas Now!
UPDATE: Atheist Christmas, is for sale.The physical product features both the DVD AND the CD, I promise.It got listed weird, which we're trying to fix, but if you look it says "Number of Discs: 2"....
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Atheist Christmas, Out Now
I kept the name! We had an offer from the largest Video On Demand and Pay Per View distributor in the country. We were excited. But then, they said they would only carry the special if we changed the...
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Her Safeword Was Goodbye
I do this joke on my latest album, Atheist Christmas.I told it last week at The Punch Line in Sacramento, and I tagged it with, "If any of you know a few chords on the guitar and some words that rhyme...
View ArticleIdaho
I was still in high school when I met a girl from Idaho and we flirted a bit and then she went back to Idaho. She sent me a letter. There was a lipstick kiss on the envelope.I opened it and little red...
View ArticleThree Muslim Students Shot
Atheists are gonna be really defensive about the shooting of three Muslim students. It was apparently a fight over a parking spot and the shooter turns out to be an atheist.While this seems to be a...
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The Atheist Survival Guide
Hey all,A few years back I wrote a little book, had an awesome artist, Ben Walker, design a cover and then I did nothing with it. I've decided to just give it away free here. If I were to try and...
View ArticleThe Break In
I was sitting on the toilet.It's a bit disconcerting how many of my stories now start this way."Keith, did you open the window and take the screen out?" My wife yelled from the living room. "No!" I...
View ArticleAh, shit.
My boss and I were talking about how much we hated taking meds. I told him I often go off of mine just to see if I still need 'em. He said, "Yeah? What are the bad side effects?"I answered, "None. The...
View ArticleSnapper
My buddy, Craig, asked me, "Are you on Snap Chat."I Said, "No." and then I asked "Should I be?" and I asked this before even asking what it was because I have an irrational fear of there being a thing...
View ArticleGuess my dad's more of a Tupac guy.
My dad was at Wendy's. He told the girl he wanted his meal "Large".She asked, "You mean biggie?"He answered, "The largest size you have."Her, "Biggie?"Dad, "Yes."Her, "Yes, what?"Dad, "Yes, I want the...
View ArticleThe Workout Room
Posting videos weekly. Support this effort, and you'll be rewarded with exclusive content.More information here: http://patreon.com/keithlowelljensen
View ArticleTrigger Warnings
I tweeted about a news story on Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson, and in doing so I included a "trigger warning" along with the link which resulted in the following exchange (My replies in bold):He sucks....
View ArticleThe Banana Story
I'm getting weekly videos up online again. You can help keep this happenings, and help improve the quality, and also get to see exclusive content. More information at Http://Patreon.com/keithlowelljensen
View ArticleHow Patreon Works
My audience is spread out over the globe. I'm stoked when I can actually reach people to perform live, but there's only so much of that I can do, what with me actually wanting to be present for my...
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Happy Louis Armstrong's Birthday!
It's Louis Armstrong's Birthday... probably.Here are just a few of the reasons why he was one of the coolest people ever.1. Played with such beauty, heart, and soul he could actually play the racism...
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I will deliver
I don't have a gig tonight, SO... I will deliver.If you live within a few minutes of the downtown/midtown Sacramento area. I will drive further for large orders.You may order any of my DVDs or CDs and...
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